Report from jail...

So I got thrown in jail tonight! Awesome. I'm not kidding.

Anne and I were on our way to meet some new friends (only I've met them, she never has) when I got pulled over in ther Ferrari for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. Weak reason to pull me over if you ask me, but I was breaking the law. After 10 minutes of him sitting in his car I began to get a little nervous. He finally got out and said "Mr. Shiflet, pleas step out of the car." I knew this wasn't good. He told me I had a warrant and was going to jail. I was super nice to them and they returned the favor. They let me explain to Anne how to drive the car and where money was at the house and what people to call, etc. They put me in the car and took me to "central booking"...a place I'm glad to say I previously didn't know existed. On the way there I asked him "If I start bashing my head in to the window between us, can I get on "Cops" or something?" He said he could do even better than that...they were actually filming some reality show called "jail" at Central Booking and there was a good chance with my "different than their usual suspects looks" I would be on there. He said had they seen the whole thing (with a gorgeous wife and a red Ferrari that no doubt both him (the cop) and I would be on TV and would be celebrities. I could tell he was disappointed they weren't in his car filming at the time. I, on the other hand, was rather thankful.

We got to County (that's what they call it as I now know) and I got to sit on a cold metal bench with my hands cuffed behind my back. I watched them pat down another dude and put him through the motions. This guy was a drunk painter from south of Texas. He was a riot. He kept telling the guys that he had never seen pu**y that he wouldn't make love to, etc, etc. They asked him to take off his watch and he begged them not to because it was his "nice watch" and they were going to steal it. The officer took it off and told the other officer inventoring all his items "one seiko daffy duck watch with plastic band." he wasn't joking. I got a great laugh out of that. I wonder what his "daily watch" was!? They then took his shoelaces off his shoes and he said "man, i'm not going to kill myself! There's too much good pu**y out there for me to get, I ain't about to go and kill myself!" The officers were laughing with him and I was trying to keep a straight face and not try any more attention to myself than a white guy with $2000 shoes, a velvet jacket, a red silk shirt and a watch the size of a small car was already getting. The guys made me take off my jacket, watch, ring and shoes. They patted me down (very agressively I might add). I was surprised that they actually do pat you down EVERYWHERE. I jokingly asked the guy "how do I size up?" He said he's been much more impressed before. I left his station feeling a bit deflated.

I went from there to some really comfy blue lounge charis complete with 2 TV's playing sports and surrounded by pay phones that I could make unlimited collect calls from. Much to my disappointment you couldn't call a cell phone collect so I was limited only to my family, which I believe thought a collect from Travis County Jail from Cord, collect, was a joke. It wasn't.

I called Anne and confirmed that i had a small stash of cash but was just a little short of the $10k they needed to get me out. I called my father who had the additional funds necessary to spring me. (I have never carried an ATM card and actually don't know how to use one even if I did have one...this might be a wake up call as to why they are a good idea, not that I plan on going through this anytime in the future).

The officer called me over and explained that I had a traffic ticket outstanding and had a court date yesterday (Monday) that I did not show up for. I told him that I didn't know about it and have an attorney that takes care of traffic tickets. He seemed a little confused because traffic tickets are never a $10,000 bail...they are $1,000 at most and this was ridiculously high. Actually all the officers there were asking me "what did you to do get a $10k bond on a traffic ticket." I played dumb only because I was dumb and I legitimately didn't know what the court deal was all about. I told him I only wanted to know what I needed to do to get out of there the fastest way I could. He laughed and joking said, well someone can show up now with $10k or you'll have to wait until in the morning when a judge sets your bond at 10% of that ($1000). He said I'd be out by 10:00am no problem. I said "no, I'll have my wife come get me now...so all she does is bring $10k?" He was a little miffed by that and said "why dont' you have a seat and let me look in to this a bit more." He called me back up a few minutes later and handed me a paper and said "Merry Christmas." I am not familiar with this process and don't konw if he's handing me my jail sentence or a prescription for anal lube. I kind of made the "excuse me?" look and he said "this was a mistake, there's the door, you're free to go." Turns out my court date that I missed was rescheduled by my attorney (thus the reason I didn't know about it) and this was all a paperwork error on the county's behalf. All the officers were shaking their heads like "I can't believe this happens, it never happens!" The guy that actually pulled me over and arrested me came up to apologize and thanked me for being so respectful, etc. He said "everytime I tell someone they have a warrant they say this must be a mistake, there's no way I have a warrant, etc." He said "You're the first guy to not say anything about having a warrant and turns out you're the first guy I've arrested that legitimately didn't have one!"

I got out of the joint (pun intended) and had no cell phone (it was in my car) and looked around for a pay phone to start calling my family. Turns out in this modern era with cell phones, there are no pay phones anymore! I walked over 8 blocks and didn't see a sigle pay phone. I finally accosted someone on the street and they let me use their phone. I called my father who picked me up on the street corner. While waiting for him, I saw no less than 3 people that pulled over and said "Cord, dude, I heard you were in jail! You okay?" Keep in mind this was 45 minutes folks. I guess when people see a red Ferrari pulled over and you've lived here all your life, it doesn't take long for word to travel.

I feel so fortunate that things happened the way they did. My wife handled everything so well and was nice about the whole process and actually greeted me at home with a smile and a little giggle (which wasn't what I was expecting). I am incredibly thankful that I wasn't driving my girls by myself and had this happen...they probably would have been put in CPS or something and I would have never lived that down. Both Travis County and APD could not have been nicer from the time they pulled me over until the time they released me...all in all it was comedy of errors. I hate that I "introduced ourselves" to our "new friends" by having me miss dinner because I was in jail...that's truly the worst part of it all...but it will make for a funny story to tell as our friendship grows.

You folks drive safe out there and be nice to those police officers...they are good people and only doing their job. I've found time after time after time that if you just treat them with respect and are polite to them it's very much appreciated. I think that added a lot to my night tonight and helped me get their help and get me out of there sooner.

I'm glad my Christmas Eve won't be spent sharing a cot with some bored rapist. You think about a lot of things in such a short amount of time in there and it sure makes you greatful that we spend a life breathing "free air."

if you were one of the ones that saw me pulled over tonight, now you know what the story is. what a mess. I'm glad it's over. It's time to go to bed! Sadly, they released me before I was actually "booked" and I didn't get a mug shot. If I did have one taken, rest assured it would have been posted on here.

Merry Christmas!

I'm a big Christmas Dork...

How great does our tree look!?  I'm so proud of it.

Well at least now I have a good excuse for being so behind.  Christmas!  I have completed all my shopping and have less than 10 boxes left to wrap.  I'm feeling really happy about that.  I love Christmas.  I'm cheezy, I know...and everyone makes fun of me for it.  You all know I'm 12 years old at heart.  So Anne's family commits the cardinal sin every year...they open their gifts CHRISTMAS EVE!?  Who's ever heard of such a thing!?  Santa doesn't come on Christmas freakin' Eve...he comes on Christmas morning.  For the love of Christ.  And it's his birthday...can't we pay the man some respect and celebrate it on the right day?  I've finally conceded and open  their gifts that night and give them mine...but I told Anne to give me one that night "if she has to" and hold the rest until JC's birthday.  Sadly, Tatum and Tinsley are still too young to "get Christmas" but nex year I think we'll be in the thick of it. I'm going to be the Dad who falls off the roof and breaks his leg while throwing pecans on the roof and ringing sleigh bells while yelling "HoHoHo."  I try so hard to get Tatum to understand the excitement of the holiday but so far, to no avail.  She does like peeking under the tree but has been great about not trying to open things.  So, this is an exciting week for me.  I love giving gifts and get criticised for going a little overboard.  It's not so much about the amount spent to me, but the number of gifts.  My parents always gave us HUGE Christmas mornings and it must have worn off.  Christmas are some of the best memories I have of my childhood and I want to make sure it's great for my kids too.  

Big news in the family...Cole and Tara had their little girl, Cannan.  I got a few pics of her.  She's so adorable.  A full head of dark hair.  She's a week old now and everyone is adjusting well.  We pull our hair out every now and then with 2 kids 2 years apart...they have 2 kids one year apart...WOW!  I'm envious in a lot of ways because they will grow up so close and have so much fun together...like Cole and I did (13 months apart).  I'm excited for them.  And I love her name...nice to see someoen in the family stuck with the "C" theme...Cord, Cole, Cross, Cannan.  

A cute picture of Cole and Tatum at the hospital.  He always makes her laugh and smile.

Cole had his 33rd birthday last week and Tara has her 32 birthday today (Happy Birthday Aunt Rara!).  Here's a pic of Tatum enjoying Cole's birthday cake.  

Friday night we went to the Trail of Lights.  Anne didn't go and it worked our perfectly.  Again, me being the tradition holiday spirited guy that I am, I've been dying to go and wanting so much to take Tatum.  Anne has agreed to go to please me but something she's been less than enthusiastic about doing.  It turns out I went with Tatum, my Mom, Cole and Cross.  We had a great time.  Tatum really liked the Christmas tree and kept spinning around and around under it and loved it when Mom or Cole held her in their arms and turned around.  I did it a time or two and almost puked so was happy to let them enjoy the moment with her.  We walked the Trail of LIghts and fought the massive crowd.  It's such a neat thing.  I just wish there were some night when you could pay a high price and have 1/10 of the people.  That's so snobby and not much in the spirit now is it?  My favorite part was one of the Winney the Pooh (no, I can't spell that) displays where they have all the animals and I'd ask Tatum "where's the donkey" and she'd point to him.  Where's the rabbit?  She's again point to the rabbit.  Each time she'd exclaim "I did it!"  She was so proud of herself.  That was a great moment for me...watching how she's learned so much so fast.  Their little brains are amazing.  She probably thinks I'm an idiot for explaining so much to her in such an elementary way.  

Mom with Cross and Tatum at the entrance to the Trail of Lights.  

It was cute...this afternoon we went to my Dad's house (he's been sick and Tatum took him some cookies and a flower) and on the way we drove past my Dad's office.  She said "PawPaw's office" as we drove by and then immediatly said "TayTay's bank" which is across the street from his office and where she has a little bank account.  Awesome.

Anne and Pippy took Tatum to the Children's Museum to make a Gingerbread house.  Anne said it was a riot because as soon as they'd put something on the house, Tatum would take it off and eat it.  I think she ate more things than she put on the house but what they created sure is cute!

This Wed. Anne took Tatum to BaLay class.  Tatum wanted to wear her black tights and Tutu...she LOVES her tights.  She also insisted on her pink boots!  I don't know that they let her wear them in class but she did wear them to class.  Too cute.

Yesterday (Saturday) we took her to The Nutcracker.  We were so excited because she's been taking "Balay" (we've lost the Beelay, which I loved to much).  We went for the 2nd act because she saw the first act last year.  She seemed interested for about 10 minutes then became more interested in the extra seats beside us, pulling the sweater of the lady in front of us and talking to the little girl behind us.  Tatum was standing up in her chair because she couldn't see the stage and some crotched (sp?) old lady behind us said "can you make your daughter sit down, my grandchild can't see and these were expensive tickets."  I bit my tongue from telling her just how much we've contributed to the Ballet to let her know in fact it was more our privledge than hers to see the damn show...but instead decided it was time to go.  Tatum entertained everyone in the lobby by dancing around in circles and running from end to end.  I think she had more fun out there than inside.  It was still a great experience and one I'm sure we'll keep for years to come.  For the short term future I need to remember to buy the seats both in front of and behind us so we can enjoy the show a little more ourselves.

Here we are leaving for the Nutcracker.  I found Tatum a super cool Christmas skirt that was "approved" by Anne and even made the final cut to wear to the Nutcracker!  I was so proud of myself for my sense of fashion.  I get made fun of because I can't dress myself cool but I can make Tatum look good (which isn't hard!) . 

Tatum has really begun to love saying "that's my ____"  whatever it is. "That's my doggy" "That's my water"  "That's my moon."  Several days ago I was clutzing through the house and she was following beind me.  I tripped over the baby gate and fell down a small set of 4 stairs.  As I laid on the floor I just heard Tatum laughing and she points and says "That's my Daddy!"  She was proud of me and wanted me to know she'd still claim me even if I embarassed her.  It warmed my heart.  I'll have to remind her of that when she's 13 and I drop her off at school in a mini-van and I'm wearing shorts and black socks pulled up to my thighs.  

At Tatum's school they were doing some type of Christmas program.  They called Anne at 8am and asked if she could bring Tinsley up at 1:00 to be "the Baby Jesus."  So...Tinsely made her first appearance before a live audience and I hear did a wonderful job.  Anne was the Virgin Mary which I think is more than akward.  Anyway...I was so excited about Tinsley's invitation and told Tatum that "TinTin is going to be Baby Jesus!"  She went around all day saying "TinTin's Baby Jesus."  I'm not sure people at the grocery store found it amusing but I loved it.  Every now and then she'll still throw in a "TinTin's my Baby Jesus."  It's so precious.  

A few random pics from the past 2 or 3 weeks:

A night on the town with Anne, Kyle and Wiggles

In case you're wondering, Anne's not in the picture about!  Here she is...

Tinsley is the happiest little girl you can find.  She's just been amazing.  She's sleeping so well and when she's awake she's just smiling and cooing and trying so hard to talk and let us know what's going on.  She's just beautiful and a joy to have.  I love making her smile and hope to continue that until the day that I die.

If you haven't been to "The Hoppin' House" you must go.  It's a warehouse FULL of these jumping things that kids love.  Tatum's friend, RJ, had his 3rd birthday party there and she was crazy about jumping in all these things.  She was also super excited about her friend, Reese, being there.  She always loves saying Reese's name.  They are a month apart to the day so it's fun to see them together.  At the Hoppin' House I was in charge of running around with her and chasing her up the ladder and down the slide.  I had an absolute blast but boy did it tire me out!  If you have little ones, YOU MUST GO!  It's like $5/kid and worth every penny.  It's tucked away in Lakeway but worth the drive. 

I'm suppossed to play golf at 9am this morning (it's currently 1:45am)!  It's also suppossed to be 39 degrees outside.  Those 2 things don't go together in my book.  I've told my friend that we might just settle for breakfast tacos and hot chocolate.  We'll see how that goes.  I'm going to snuggle in my bed now and get myself warm so I don't freeze tomorrow.  

Happy Happy Holidays to all of you.  I hope you have a great time whatever you do and however you choose to celebrate.  We're going to have a big day around here and I bet 'ya I'm so excited I wont' be able to sleep!  If you need someone to come and throw pecans on your roof and ring some sleigh bells, please let me know!  I need some practice for next year!!  

Peace and Love to All of You!  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...

Love,

Cord

Vegas and Putting up the Christmas Tree

It's 2:00am and I should be in bed.  Again.  This one will be quick.  A few pictures with a couple of notes.

Tatum leaving Thanksgiving dinner with her Turkey hat on.  

Annie and her girls

Cole and Cross at Thanksgiving. Cross just learned to walk last week!

Tinsley at the airport on her first airplane trip!  Leaving for Vegas.

Tinsley in her cute little fuzzy hat

Annie, Tatum and TinTin on the couch at the house.

Tinsley looking her always cute self.

Me and Annie before going out to dinner on "date night" in Vegas.

If this isn't gay, I don't know what is.  No, this wasn't planned.  Yes, I am straight.

Tinsley stylin' her aviators in Vegas.  She got SO many compliments.  Thanks JJ and Katie.

Tinsley found a couple of friends at FAO Schwarts

Tatum walked down in the living room with this all over her mouth!  That girl lover her chocolate!

God Bless Mom and Pam for helping us get the tree up.  Fine...for putting the tree up.  It looks AWESOME!

Pam spreading the Christmas cheer. 

Tatum hanging her first ornament on the tree.

Tinsley put her first ornament on the tree with a little help from her Mama.

So how cool is this.  We finished putting the Christmas tree up and i looked out the window and it was snowing!  It was honestly the biggest snowflakes I've ever seen.  It was so neat to have that happen as we were all getting in the holiday spirit.  What a perfect night.  Seriously...THANK YOU Mom and Pam for all your help with the tree.  It's sure to be enjoyed and appreciated.